Nellcittaf Flatsantif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, dishonest centaur.

Nellcittaf Flatsantif created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nellcittaf Flatsantif, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nellcittaf Flatsantif, it will be mildly annoyed.

Nellcittaf Flatsantif's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Nellcittaf Flatsantif's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green turtles, for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nellcittaf Flatsantif.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.