Lanpombig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome wombat.

Lanpombig created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Lanpombig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lanpombig, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Lanpombig's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Lanpombig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lanpombig's priests.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never allow squirrels to witness sacred rites.

4. Never gather three geese in one place.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lanpombig.