Taffetgutspag Gilnegyog is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, happy chinchilla.

Taffetgutspag Gilnegyog created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taffetgutspag Gilnegyog, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Taffetgutspag Gilnegyog, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Taffetgutspag Gilnegyog's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Taffetgutspag Gilnegyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dusk.

2. Taffetgutspag Gilnegyog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away from cyan swans, for they are unholy.

4. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with anger.

5. Never mark doors with brown.