Titflowshav is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, strong donkey.

Titflowshav created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Titflowshav, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Titflowshav, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Titflowshav's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Titflowshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Titflowshav on top of all buildings.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never write about special relativity.