Vindidtif is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, overgenerous dolphin.

Vindidtif created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vindidtif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vindidtif, he will throw large rocks at you.

Vindidtif's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vindidtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

2. Never leap near gulls.

3. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing rings.

4. Always maintain purity during holy days.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.