Flantamdad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow rhinoceros.

Flantamdad created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Flantamdad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flantamdad, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Flantamdad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Flantamdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flantamdad.

3. Worship no other gods but Flantamdad.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help snakes.