Jonsaddittadgattim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain wyrm.

Jonsaddittadgattim created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonsaddittadgattim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jonsaddittadgattim, he will turn you into a rock.

Jonsaddittadgattim's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Jonsaddittadgattim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never think about dark energy near mites while wearing yellow shoes and balancing four tin spheres on your chest.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Never wear shirts.