Kemgebsablamsidsugdab is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, egotistical bat.

Kemgebsablamsidsugdab created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemgebsablamsidsugdab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemgebsablamsidsugdab, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Kemgebsablamsidsugdab's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Kemgebsablamsidsugdab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

2. Always store cucumbers above ground.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never bounce in the presence of elders.