Bemtunsinvinhivlun is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, narcissistic zebra.

Bemtunsinvinhivlun created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemtunsinvinhivlun, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bemtunsinvinhivlun, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bemtunsinvinhivlun's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bemtunsinvinhivlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing brown trousers and balancing seven lead spheres on your arms.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never eat bark.