Arfsawzog is a god.

She takes the form of a small, selfish cat.

Arfsawzog created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfsawzog, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Arfsawzog, she will turn you into a puffin.

Arfsawzog's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Arfsawzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of oranges to foxes while wearing mauve rings.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.