Cimhadlag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing badger.

Cimhadlag created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Cimhadlag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cimhadlag, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cimhadlag's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cimhadlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pray while filled with envy.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near goats while wearing orange shorts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your hands.

5. Fast once a month.