Guplooptipjam Pibnegnab is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, awesome penguin.

Guplooptipjam Pibnegnab created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guplooptipjam Pibnegnab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Guplooptipjam Pibnegnab, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Guplooptipjam Pibnegnab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Guplooptipjam Pibnegnab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

2. Retreat if nine frogs approach from the south.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Guplooptipjam Pibnegnab.

4. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

5. Always remove hats before entering holy places.