Bifbellrat Narttallap Tofmifwigloprutlidbutsid is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tranquil shark.

Bifbellrat Narttallap Tofmifwigloprutlidbutsid created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bifbellrat Narttallap Tofmifwigloprutlidbutsid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bifbellrat Narttallap Tofmifwigloprutlidbutsid, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bifbellrat Narttallap Tofmifwigloprutlidbutsid's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bifbellrat Narttallap Tofmifwigloprutlidbutsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near grasshopers while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing four iron spheres on your neck.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help sick ducks.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near bats while wearing gray dresses and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not leap in public.