Nullkamnill is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, stupid guinea pig.

Nullkamnill created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nullkamnill, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nullkamnill, it will curse you with boils.

Nullkamnill's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nullkamnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Do not wear scarves marked with turquoise.