Quilltarvon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, thoughtless chicken.

Quilltarvon created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quilltarvon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quilltarvon, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Quilltarvon's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Quilltarvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Do not sprint at mountains.

3. Always remove rings before touching lead.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quilltarvon.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.