Pibcamzed is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking penguin.

Pibcamzed created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pibcamzed, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pibcamzed, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pibcamzed's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Pibcamzed's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always store tomatoes above ground.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Do not wear boots marked with fawn.

5. Hide if nine pigs approach from the east.