Safrulltal Gilbungon is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane dove.

Safrulltal Gilbungon created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Safrulltal Gilbungon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Safrulltal Gilbungon, he will turn you into a hamster.

Safrulltal Gilbungon's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Safrulltal Gilbungon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Safrulltal Gilbungon.

2. Do not eat figs.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never look in ponds.