Garrawcim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, caring toad.

Garrawcim created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garrawcim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Garrawcim, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Garrawcim's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Garrawcim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight dogs approach from the west.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Garrawcim loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not consume bread at dawn.