Fobbagbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonourable shrew.

Fobbagbarn created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fobbagbarn, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fobbagbarn, he will send you a sign.

Fobbagbarn's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fobbagbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while unclean.

2. Do not eat corn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not prepare oranges while wearing stockings.