Gubarpkam is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciful goblin.

Gubarpkam created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubarpkam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gubarpkam, it will manifest in front of you.

Gubarpkam's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gubarpkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt eagles.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Never gather nine badgers near walls.

4. Do not prepare carrots while wearing coats.

5. Never remain prostrate at dusk.