Ponzodfit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, weak chicken.

Ponzodfit created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Ponzodfit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ponzodfit, he will send you a sign.

Ponzodfit's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Ponzodfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

3. Never handle platinum while unclean.

4. Do not jump at forests.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.