Dabgadyat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless yak.

Dabgadyat created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabgadyat, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dabgadyat, it will turn you into a puffin.

Dabgadyat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Dabgadyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

3. Never think ill of sick mites.

4. Always store tomatoes above ground.

5. Do not commit murder.