Matlapbiss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, staggering centipede.

Matlapbiss created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matlapbiss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Matlapbiss, he will make you grow a tail.

Matlapbiss' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Matlapbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never prepare garlic during summer.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.