Xuckgessfom Ganfossweg is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous monkey.

Xuckgessfom Ganfossweg created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckgessfom Ganfossweg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xuckgessfom Ganfossweg, he will cry a lot.

Xuckgessfom Ganfossweg's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Xuckgessfom Ganfossweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

2. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help sick horses.