Nurtcatgov is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic gnu.

Nurtcatgov created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcatgov, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurtcatgov, he will think nothing of it.

Nurtcatgov's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nurtcatgov's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurtcatgov.

3. Never stain your arms with red.

4. You must love Nurtcatgov.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.