Zedkinzan is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish scorpion.

Zedkinzan created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedkinzan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zedkinzan, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zedkinzan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zedkinzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near moths while wearing fawn skirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your chest.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Zedkinzan on top of all buildings.

5. Run away from yellow manatees, for they are unholy.