Flapsatmit is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, selfish scorpion.

Flapsatmit created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flapsatmit, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flapsatmit, it will boil you in a big pot.

Flapsatmit's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Flapsatmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about beans.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Flapsatmit loves birds, so they must be honoured.