Zencumnibxem is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fast pig.

Zencumnibxem created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zencumnibxem, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zencumnibxem, it will turn you into a puffin.

Zencumnibxem's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Zencumnibxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four moths in a large pit.

2. Never allow mice to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Always remove kilts before touching silver.

4. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Fast once a month.