Flanflyxem is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust goblin.

Flanflyxem created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanflyxem, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flanflyxem, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flanflyxem's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Flanflyxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not prepare grapes while filled with joy.

4. Never paint your feet indigo.

5. Never cross mountains at midnight.