Dunmotteen is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciless lobster.

Dunmotteen created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunmotteen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dunmotteen, it will turn you into a duck.

Dunmotteen's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Dunmotteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not prepare melons while wearing scarves.

4. Put Dunmotteen first in all things.

5. Run away from magenta monkeys, for they are unholy.