Ominnartlincatyog is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome elephant.

Ominnartlincatyog created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominnartlincatyog, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominnartlincatyog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ominnartlincatyog's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Ominnartlincatyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from titanium.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.