Ripyikzed is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, grumpy capybara.

Ripyikzed created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripyikzed, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ripyikzed, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ripyikzed's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ripyikzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ripyikzed.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Ripyikzed loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.