Renspagdav Pomfemjan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable zebra.

Renspagdav Pomfemjan created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Renspagdav Pomfemjan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Renspagdav Pomfemjan, he will laugh at you.

Renspagdav Pomfemjan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Renspagdav Pomfemjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wash your chest before prayer.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Renspagdav Pomfemjan.