Lidstaflop is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, benevolent monkey.

Lidstaflop created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidstaflop, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lidstaflop, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lidstaflop's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Lidstaflop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near eagles while wearing fawn tights and balancing six zinc spheres on your head.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.