Bumbimzag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, dishonourable chinchilla.

Bumbimzag created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumbimzag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bumbimzag, he will cry a lot.

Bumbimzag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bumbimzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

2. Never feed cucumbers to ducks while wearing mauve ear rings.

3. Never cross mountains at midnight.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never eat bark.