Omthogbarnpidvegmabdoncen is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, smart naga.

Omthogbarnpidvegmabdoncen created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omthogbarnpidvegmabdoncen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omthogbarnpidvegmabdoncen, she will jump up and down on your head.

Omthogbarnpidvegmabdoncen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Omthogbarnpidvegmabdoncen's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before touching gold.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not wear shirts marked with violet.

5. Pray only in darkness.