Yognellmis is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, blissful lizard.

Yognellmis created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yognellmis, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yognellmis, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yognellmis' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Yognellmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with hamsters.

2. Never whisper while facing south.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Always pray immersed in water.