Jinvedbafflynatren Ontfemhad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, all-knowing rhinoceros.

Jinvedbafflynatren Ontfemhad created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinvedbafflynatren Ontfemhad, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jinvedbafflynatren Ontfemhad, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Jinvedbafflynatren Ontfemhad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jinvedbafflynatren Ontfemhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always look after injured seals.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never go into red rooms.