Stragkemwap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, merciless cow.

Stragkemwap created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Stragkemwap, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Stragkemwap, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stragkemwap's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Stragkemwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with fawn markings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Erect four zinc sculptures of Stragkemwap on top of important buildings.