Kamvinnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest aardvark.

Kamvinnarl created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamvinnarl, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kamvinnarl, she will turn you into a rock.

Kamvinnarl's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Kamvinnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three snails in one place.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Kamvinnarl must be the most important thing in your life.