Tikcuthadlanbud is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent otter.

Tikcuthadlanbud created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikcuthadlanbud, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tikcuthadlanbud, she will cry a lot.

Tikcuthadlanbud's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tikcuthadlanbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near pigs while wearing turquoise kilts.

3. Never sit in the presence of horses.

4. Do not prepare beans while filled with envy.

5. Do not name children after ducks.