Largwatdiss Quagdumloop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy shrew.

Largwatdiss Quagdumloop created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Largwatdiss Quagdumloop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Largwatdiss Quagdumloop, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Largwatdiss Quagdumloop's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Largwatdiss Quagdumloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always count to three before sit.

5. Never eat strawberries.