Yoklikstip Vanbim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, vain dugong.

Yoklikstip Vanbim created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yoklikstip Vanbim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yoklikstip Vanbim, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Yoklikstip Vanbim's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Yoklikstip Vanbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never record signs.

5. Pray towards the north.