Flatjapdutmegxemdammifgut is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, grumpy jaguar.

Flatjapdutmegxemdammifgut created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatjapdutmegxemdammifgut, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatjapdutmegxemdammifgut, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flatjapdutmegxemdammifgut's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Flatjapdutmegxemdammifgut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never proclaim while facing west.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.