Likpadwig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving dragon.

Likpadwig created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Likpadwig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Likpadwig, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Likpadwig's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Likpadwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing yellow corsets and balancing five gold spheres on your hands.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Never proclaim while facing east.

5. Never handle zinc while unclean.