Zedkinwod is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Zedkinwod created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zedkinwod, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zedkinwod, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Zedkinwod's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zedkinwod's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange mice for they are unholy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.