Higtapnart is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, humane goat.

Higtapnart created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higtapnart, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Higtapnart, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Higtapnart's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Higtapnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan corsets on sacred days.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never allow tortoises to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not hurt porpoises.

5. Never talk about dark matter.