Likfetdam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unsympathetic mongoose.

Likfetdam created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Likfetdam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Likfetdam, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Likfetdam's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Likfetdam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven birds approach from the east.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Likfetdam.

3. Hide from red moths for they are unholy.

4. Always remove coats before touching nickel.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.