Hoggarstipboddagbugster is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witty mole.

Hoggarstipboddagbugster created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hoggarstipboddagbugster, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hoggarstipboddagbugster, it will cry a lot.

Hoggarstipboddagbugster's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Hoggarstipboddagbugster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare figs while wearing trousers.

2. Hoggarstipboddagbugster must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not kill squirrels.

4. Do not hurt aardvarks.

5. Never wear indigo boots.