Sugmobkin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered narwhal.

Sugmobkin created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Sugmobkin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sugmobkin, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Sugmobkin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Sugmobkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near pigs while wearing violet skirts and balancing four lead spheres on your neck.

4. Never feed lots of grapes to grasshopers while wearing pink shoes.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.