Fubbassquim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, all-knowing parrot.

Fubbassquim created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubbassquim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fubbassquim, he will turn you into a snail.

Fubbassquim's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fubbassquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never play with disobedient children.